I’m getting coal for X-mas

Because even though I haven’t been that naughty this year, I have been a bad/lazy blogger.  I have the time, but to be honest, I’ve been kind of down and preoccupied.  Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve and I haven’t even posted part II of my home bar with full on pic, but I promise you will see the finished product before NYE.

Now, enough of that – Since it’s Christmas Eve I thought I would show you a few of my favorite things about this holiday so keep reading if you feel like smiling…

Ok so, I’m not the biggest fan of this song…but this is freaking awesome and I want to hug whoever put this together.  I dare you not to smile while watching this!

Being a kid, Christmas morning was possibly the most exciting morning of the year for many of us.  Sometimes it was a let down, but sometimes when Santa brought you exactly what you wanted it was like winning the megamillions while eating cake and getting a massage at the same time.  This Youtube video makes me wish that either, I was a kid again, or that I will one day buy the best present ever for a child and hopefully their reaction will be similar to this. 🙂

Kittens singing Christmas songs….need I say more?

I hope you enjoyed these videos and that you have a wonderful Christmas tomorrow or just a great day in general, if you don’t celebrate it.

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!

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Just a Thought…About Muffin Tops

No, not the delicious overhanging part of a breakfast pastry you get with your coffee in the morning.  Although, that is undeniably my favorite part of any muffin…I love when it’s toasted juuuust enough so that when I break off the sides they are juuust a bit crunchy to balance out all of the fluffy baked goodness on the inside.  Though, if you eat muffins for breakfast you are likely to have the “muffin top” I am about to discuss.

What I mean is the awful overhanging part of someones (usually someone of the female persuasion) gut/”love handles” when they’ve squeezed into pants that are way too tight.  In my opinion, I don’t understand why the muffin top exists at all.  If you don’t fit into your jeans why would you show the rest of the world that by somehow squeezing them closed, clearly exposing the rest of you that didn’t make it into them?!  WHY?!  Just because you can get them closed, doesn’t mean they fit people!  All you have to do is buy a bigger size.  Is that so hard?

If you answered yes to that question, I can’t say I don’t understand.  I too hate going up a size, but I also know I will look thinner if my clothes actually fit.  I don’t generally like to point out my flaws, especially not in fleshy overhanging targets situated on my hips for the whole world to see.  I would rather diet and workout, and wear the bigger size until I can fit perfectly into my smaller jeans.

There’s a popular saying, “don’t dress for the job you have, but for the job you want.” well, unfortunately it doesn’t work the same way with weight.  If it did I would be a muffin top offender too.  But it doesn’t, so please, just stop.

And remember kids, friends don’t let friends show muffin top.

Late Night Laughs

Ok, so instead of apologizing and giving excuses about why I haven’t been writing lately I have decided to make you laugh instead…enjoy.

cyanide and happiness crack

And just so you know, I laughed for an inappropriately long time at this.

Run For Your Life!!!…My Love/Hate Relationship With Running

So, I’m sitting here at my computer in full workout garb fully intending on going for a run….you know, after I’m done procrastinating by writing and editing this post.  Not to mention that I got up at 8 AM with the best of intentions but sat on Pinterest and Facebook “for a few” and it is now 12 in the afternoon.

Running is the one excersize that I love AND hate the most.  When I’m running it’s like I am the fiercest, strongest, baddest bitch in the world…I can go forever, and then I hit my second mile and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.

I will say running the best therapy.  Pounding the pavement, or the rubber track on the treadmil in my case, clears my mind and gives me one of the best endorphin highs I have experienced, and I feel so damn accomplished when I run a full 3 miles.  It’s like I can outrun all the zombies and Kenyans in the world.

Not only is it good for my mental health, but (DUH!) it’s good for my waistline and overall healthy too!!  Out of all of the workouts I have done over the years – running flattens out my tummy faster and more effectively than anything else (I haven’t tried swimming, but I’m sure that would be pretty good too) I just feel good when I am running on the regular.  So why don’t I keep it up you ask?

The downside for me is that it’s hard.  It’s hard and I’m lazy…that’s not an excuse, it’s just the sad truth.  If I could just buckle down and keep it up – even if I’m tired or lazy, then I know it would be a piece of cake (maybe I shouldn’t use the word cake….mmm), so I’m going to give it a try…I’m going to challenge myself – I promise, I Julia will run AT LEAST 2 miles 4 times a week.  That’s not a lot so I should be able to pull it off.  Wish me luck people!! I’ll need it!

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Insomnia, What a D*ck.

Sometimes, I just know when I don’t have a chance in Hell at falling asleep. Sometimes, my insomnia will just sneak up on me around 1:30 AM, talking smack like “Oooh you thought you were tired did you??!!  Well, think about this – can you make a mental list of all the meals you want to cook this week?”  or “What if the zombie apocalypse started tonight?  Are you prepared? What’s your plan?” or “Hey, what if you or a close loved one got cancer?  Feelings? Ready, set, go!”  What a f*cking douche-bag right?

If my insomnia were a person, I imagine he would wear Affliction tees, have a steroid problem and take issue with strong independent women.  Maybe he has a gambling problem too….and he’s a dead beat dad, yeah.  I bet he parks in handicapped parking spots, or no, better – he’s the guy that parks his BMW diagonally across three spots in the lot so no one “dings” his door (side note: if you are someone who does this, and I happen upon your vehicle, you are in serious danger of having your car keyed the F up).

Do you know when I thought this description up?  If you guessed between the hours of 2AM and when the sun began slowly rising in the morning sky, congratulations, you’re right!

Sometimes this jerk turns me against other people, like my boyfriend (anyone sleeping near me while I’m wide awake will do).  He says things like “look at this asshole fast asleep ova here!  He’s dreaming peacefully while your staring at the ceiling.  Don’t you just wanna ‘accidentally’ slap him while you’re ‘rolling over’??”  or “How dare he snore! He’s the one keeping you up, not me!  Why don’t you just give him a quick jab with your elbow to shut him up?” 

I’ll admit, he gets the better of me most nights.  Just when I think I’m in the home stretch and my eyelids begin to feel weighted, my cat will give him a helping paw by hopping up on the bed, sitting on my chest, kneading and purring loudly in my face.  That’s when my insomnia will rear his ugly juice-head.  Any excuse to keep me up, torturing me with my own thoughts and imagination.

It’s not all bad though; sometimes I get the best ideas in the wee hours of the morning.  Actually, I thought about starting a blog during a sleepless night and I wrote my about section at around 5:15 in the morning.  If only my brain could be as productive during the day as it is from 2AM-6AM, maybe I would be a billionaire by now.  I guess that’s something I can ponder later, while I’m trying to sleep.

Much Like a Gremlin, You Should NOT Spill Water on Your Laptop.

Sorry I’ve been MIA on my blog lately, but as you can probably tell from the title of this post, it’s surprisingly not due to procrastination, but rather because I knocked a glass of water onto my laptop.  Fortunately, I was able to get it fixed, but it did take a few days to get it back.

This should teach me an important lesson on how to take better care of my stuff, especially the more expensive and delicate items.  Sadly though, I know myself better than that.

I am a hot mess when it comes to taking care of my things.  I lose jewelery and iPods and just about anything else that isn’t nailed down or attached to my body.  In fact, Tom likes to make fun of me because I’m really good at losing my glass of water in our 900 sqft apartment.  I recently got a surge of “DIYness” and made a pair of jean shorts out of a pair of old denim – I realized later that my $90 Bose headphones were right under said jeans before I whipped out the scissors and cut them right in half.   My last laptop really got hit really hard by me….right after I purchased it, about 7 years ago, I spilled red wine all over it (while it was closed thankfully) and stained the outside but, it didn’t cause any other damage.  Then, about a year ago I dropped it on my bathroom floor and cracked a piece of the bottom right off.  I kept using it even though I was constantly getting stabbed by the jagged plastic edges.  By the time I finally brought the poor thing in, it was covered in electrical tape, the entire motherboard was exposed and it was covered in stains and scratches.  I told myself, “Self, with this new laptop, I’ll be careful – I’ll by a case, and a keyboard cover, I swear!”, but did I do that?  Nope.

I am going to try to be better with taking care of my baby now though.  It was sooo hard annoying to live without a computer for a week and a half.  I mean, sure I have a smart phone – but it’s just not the same.  How am I supposed to write a blog from a smart phone?! I mean, come on!

Plus, Tom and I had a hell of an adventure trying to bring the Mac home yesterday.  We picked it up and dropped off in the trunk of the car so we could grab a bite to eat.  When we got back to our spot the car was no where to be found.  My stomach dropped.  I was already picturing masked bandits making their getaway, high-fiving and whooing while haphazardly waving my computer out of the sunroof – the computer that I just payed $100 dollars to fix….Then I noticed the small red and white sign that stated NO PARKING from 2PM – 6PM…the car was towed.  We spent the next few hours locating the car, getting to the tow yard by bus, and then waiting on a nice long line to get it out of impound.  Fun day.

I know I’m still going to eat and drink while I’m typing, watching TV and talking  on the phone.  I know that I will still carry my laptop with one hand while narrowly avoiding tripping over my cats.  I know that I’ll absent-mindedly leave it on the edge of the table and then walk away, but maybe this time will be different.  When I got home from the debacle that was yesterday, I hopped on amazon, in hopes to prove to myself that I can be a responsible adult, and bought a (really cute) hard case and keyboard protector.

In the future I’ll try to be more mindful with my things, but for now, I’m just glad Gremlins aren’t real, because you better believe I would be spilling water ALL over them too.

Image                                                                             (This may as well be my laptop….)

Just a thought…about my Keurig

If you’ve never heard of a Keurig machine you are in for a wondrous surprise. It is a magical piece of technology that sits atop your kitchen counter and offers up a steaming hot cup O’Joe at your every whim.  For someone as lazy as I am (pretty lazy…) it’s especially exciting.  There is no pot to clean, there are no paper filters to add or grinds to scoop; there is just a cute little k-cup to pop in and in less than 30 seconds later, BAM!! You have a hot mug of happiness.

There are those of you out there who don’t share my affinity for coffee, I can relate. For years before I entered into the corporate workforce, I too scoffed at the remarkable powers of caffeine. And maybe some of you just don’t like the taste – for you, there are a dizzying array of choices that will undoubtedly make you fall for a piece of machinery that doesn’t open up Facebook (or live in your bedside drawer).  Teas and cocas and ciders oh my!!!  There are even iced drink options.

Even now that I’m unemployed I enjoy the ritual of popping in a K-cup flavor of my choice, breathing in the aroma and eating my breakfast with an iced glass of coffee (or hot, depending on my mood).  It just makes my meal feel more complete.

There are coffee snobs the world over that I’m sure would be appalled that I enjoy my coffee from a Keurig, but I don’t mind and I really do enjoy the easy way out. Besides, there are some pretty good options (I love the Sumatra Blend by Green Mountain) and, even more importantly, Dunkin’ Doughnuts just came out with a line of pumpkin coffee K-cups, which I happen to love so who cares what coffee snobs think?!

As I finish up this post and take a sip of my coffee from my leopard print iced drink cup, I hope you can all enjoy the small things in your day that just make it that much better.  Also, I think they should come up with a machine that doles out single serving wine….then my life would be complete.