Insomnia, What a D*ck.

Sometimes, I just know when I don’t have a chance in Hell at falling asleep. Sometimes, my insomnia will just sneak up on me around 1:30 AM, talking smack like “Oooh you thought you were tired did you??!!  Well, think about this – can you make a mental list of all the meals you want to cook this week?”  or “What if the zombie apocalypse started tonight?  Are you prepared? What’s your plan?” or “Hey, what if you or a close loved one got cancer?  Feelings? Ready, set, go!”  What a f*cking douche-bag right?

If my insomnia were a person, I imagine he would wear Affliction tees, have a steroid problem and take issue with strong independent women.  Maybe he has a gambling problem too….and he’s a dead beat dad, yeah.  I bet he parks in handicapped parking spots, or no, better – he’s the guy that parks his BMW diagonally across three spots in the lot so no one “dings” his door (side note: if you are someone who does this, and I happen upon your vehicle, you are in serious danger of having your car keyed the F up).

Do you know when I thought this description up?  If you guessed between the hours of 2AM and when the sun began slowly rising in the morning sky, congratulations, you’re right!

Sometimes this jerk turns me against other people, like my boyfriend (anyone sleeping near me while I’m wide awake will do).  He says things like “look at this asshole fast asleep ova here!  He’s dreaming peacefully while your staring at the ceiling.  Don’t you just wanna ‘accidentally’ slap him while you’re ‘rolling over’??”  or “How dare he snore! He’s the one keeping you up, not me!  Why don’t you just give him a quick jab with your elbow to shut him up?” 

I’ll admit, he gets the better of me most nights.  Just when I think I’m in the home stretch and my eyelids begin to feel weighted, my cat will give him a helping paw by hopping up on the bed, sitting on my chest, kneading and purring loudly in my face.  That’s when my insomnia will rear his ugly juice-head.  Any excuse to keep me up, torturing me with my own thoughts and imagination.

It’s not all bad though; sometimes I get the best ideas in the wee hours of the morning.  Actually, I thought about starting a blog during a sleepless night and I wrote my about section at around 5:15 in the morning.  If only my brain could be as productive during the day as it is from 2AM-6AM, maybe I would be a billionaire by now.  I guess that’s something I can ponder later, while I’m trying to sleep.

Fall Makeup Essentials

Just as fashion changes with the seasons, so should our makeup.  Here is a list of products that I find essential this fall.
A good foundation: During the summer months, I tend to go for a more sheer coverage. Between my tan complexion and the hot weather I find a B.B. Cream a to better option, but as my tan fades and the temperature drops I return to my handy foundation to keep me looking flawless.  I am loving all of the new light reflecting foundations to really brighten my skin and keep me glowing (albeit, pale) throughout the seasons.
Highlighting Concealer: As I mentioned above there are all kinds of new light reflecting products on the market now, and in my opinion their best used to combat dark under eye circles.  A highlighting concealer, like this Stilla version,  gives you a well rested look by brightening up your eyes – super helpful on those dark cold mornings when you just can’t scrape yourself out of bed.
*I also really like Maybelline’s DreamLumi Touch Highlighting Concealer
Eyeshadow Palette with Muted Pops of Color: Summer was all about those bright colors but now that Fall has rolled around it’s about those rich, saturated but more muted colors (if that makes sence…). The American Dream Pallete by Nars is just that (thought any similar pallete will do), It comes with a nice assortment of shimmery lights, deep glittery darks and matte brown thrown in for good measure.
 -Colored Liquid Liner: Liquid liner is an all year essential for me, but during the Fall I love to punch it up with a few different colors to really add some drama to my look (just yesterday I wore a brown smokey eye with an army green liquid liner).  My color faves during this season – aside from my all time favorite black of course, are – Navy, Green, Brown and Burgundy.
-Dark Nail Polish: This summer I was all about bright teals and crazy neons, but I must say I missed a good dark red nail (it’s what I’m wearing right now).  I’m loving every dark shade – black, blue, green, purple, grey, you name it and I can’t wait to paint it on my digits.  I also find a great way to add some interest is to add a metallic color too (think 3 black nails and 2 gold).
-Saturated Lips: Whether you prefer lipstick, stain, or gloss a brightly colored lip is the way to go.  I especially the colors in the new line of Super-Saturated lip colors by Urban Decay, though I can’t attest to how well these work since I haven’t tried them, the idea behind this product is what I am going for – highly pigmented colors for you kisser.
-Red Toned Blush: Although I’m sure to use my light pinks and corals throughout the year, during the colder months I like to add in a more red toned or berry colored blush into rotation.  My theory – there is nothing like a just-pinched look on a creamy complexion.  If you are darker – don’t be afraid to go with a more burgundy looking blush, as long as you remember to be light handed and blend well.  If your light like me the same principles apply, but go for a berry red with a hint of pink.
Fall Makeup Essentials
P.S – This post is what I did instead of working out…lame I know…I’m putting on my sneakers right now – I swear!!

Today’s the Day…or is it?

So, today’s the day.

I have been telling myself that lie for a full month now.  The lie being that today, I will get back on track, pull myself out of the unemployment induced semi-depression I have been living in, slap on my sneakers and a sports bra and start working out again.

To be honest, I’m really not sure why I’ve been putting it off.  I am one of those people who work out on a regular basis.  I have a routine.  Until of course, the routine fails me yet again, and I fall off the wagon for a week or two.  It’s been 5 weeks.  And don’t get me wrong – I’ve tried, I have put on all my workout gear.  Then, I ehem…sat around on the computer ehem…yeah.

At this point I’m literally filled with self loathing and self-doubt.

Image                                                                                                                    (but hey at least there’s an ecard for that….)

I know a good workout is what I need to lift my spirits (and my ass), I just need to get up and do it.  Maybe writing this for the world to see, or at least my handful of readers, will push me to stop procrastinating.  Maybe.  For now, I’m going to finish up my coffee and daydream about how great I’m gonna look in my bikini next year; if I could just get off my lazy tush.

Much Like a Gremlin, You Should NOT Spill Water on Your Laptop.

Sorry I’ve been MIA on my blog lately, but as you can probably tell from the title of this post, it’s surprisingly not due to procrastination, but rather because I knocked a glass of water onto my laptop.  Fortunately, I was able to get it fixed, but it did take a few days to get it back.

This should teach me an important lesson on how to take better care of my stuff, especially the more expensive and delicate items.  Sadly though, I know myself better than that.

I am a hot mess when it comes to taking care of my things.  I lose jewelery and iPods and just about anything else that isn’t nailed down or attached to my body.  In fact, Tom likes to make fun of me because I’m really good at losing my glass of water in our 900 sqft apartment.  I recently got a surge of “DIYness” and made a pair of jean shorts out of a pair of old denim – I realized later that my $90 Bose headphones were right under said jeans before I whipped out the scissors and cut them right in half.   My last laptop really got hit really hard by me….right after I purchased it, about 7 years ago, I spilled red wine all over it (while it was closed thankfully) and stained the outside but, it didn’t cause any other damage.  Then, about a year ago I dropped it on my bathroom floor and cracked a piece of the bottom right off.  I kept using it even though I was constantly getting stabbed by the jagged plastic edges.  By the time I finally brought the poor thing in, it was covered in electrical tape, the entire motherboard was exposed and it was covered in stains and scratches.  I told myself, “Self, with this new laptop, I’ll be careful – I’ll by a case, and a keyboard cover, I swear!”, but did I do that?  Nope.

I am going to try to be better with taking care of my baby now though.  It was sooo hard annoying to live without a computer for a week and a half.  I mean, sure I have a smart phone – but it’s just not the same.  How am I supposed to write a blog from a smart phone?! I mean, come on!

Plus, Tom and I had a hell of an adventure trying to bring the Mac home yesterday.  We picked it up and dropped off in the trunk of the car so we could grab a bite to eat.  When we got back to our spot the car was no where to be found.  My stomach dropped.  I was already picturing masked bandits making their getaway, high-fiving and whooing while haphazardly waving my computer out of the sunroof – the computer that I just payed $100 dollars to fix….Then I noticed the small red and white sign that stated NO PARKING from 2PM – 6PM…the car was towed.  We spent the next few hours locating the car, getting to the tow yard by bus, and then waiting on a nice long line to get it out of impound.  Fun day.

I know I’m still going to eat and drink while I’m typing, watching TV and talking  on the phone.  I know that I will still carry my laptop with one hand while narrowly avoiding tripping over my cats.  I know that I’ll absent-mindedly leave it on the edge of the table and then walk away, but maybe this time will be different.  When I got home from the debacle that was yesterday, I hopped on amazon, in hopes to prove to myself that I can be a responsible adult, and bought a (really cute) hard case and keyboard protector.

In the future I’ll try to be more mindful with my things, but for now, I’m just glad Gremlins aren’t real, because you better believe I would be spilling water ALL over them too.

Image                                                                             (This may as well be my laptop….)

Just a thought…about my Keurig

If you’ve never heard of a Keurig machine you are in for a wondrous surprise. It is a magical piece of technology that sits atop your kitchen counter and offers up a steaming hot cup O’Joe at your every whim.  For someone as lazy as I am (pretty lazy…) it’s especially exciting.  There is no pot to clean, there are no paper filters to add or grinds to scoop; there is just a cute little k-cup to pop in and in less than 30 seconds later, BAM!! You have a hot mug of happiness.

There are those of you out there who don’t share my affinity for coffee, I can relate. For years before I entered into the corporate workforce, I too scoffed at the remarkable powers of caffeine. And maybe some of you just don’t like the taste – for you, there are a dizzying array of choices that will undoubtedly make you fall for a piece of machinery that doesn’t open up Facebook (or live in your bedside drawer).  Teas and cocas and ciders oh my!!!  There are even iced drink options.

Even now that I’m unemployed I enjoy the ritual of popping in a K-cup flavor of my choice, breathing in the aroma and eating my breakfast with an iced glass of coffee (or hot, depending on my mood).  It just makes my meal feel more complete.

There are coffee snobs the world over that I’m sure would be appalled that I enjoy my coffee from a Keurig, but I don’t mind and I really do enjoy the easy way out. Besides, there are some pretty good options (I love the Sumatra Blend by Green Mountain) and, even more importantly, Dunkin’ Doughnuts just came out with a line of pumpkin coffee K-cups, which I happen to love so who cares what coffee snobs think?!

As I finish up this post and take a sip of my coffee from my leopard print iced drink cup, I hope you can all enjoy the small things in your day that just make it that much better.  Also, I think they should come up with a machine that doles out single serving wine….then my life would be complete.

Rock ‘n’ Roll

Tonight I’m going to a Dragonette concert in the city (NYC).  I’m putting together my outfit and I thought I would share the type of clothes I am going to wear.
-Leather Moto Jacket, a perfect addition to any outfit that you want to add an edge to, whether that be a frilly dress or a dressed down look like the one I’m going for tonight.
-Pop of Color in Red, I used red in the sunglasses, sneakers, and the lips and nails – this cherry red pop is perfect to rock out with
-Printed Tee, always a cofy cool option for a dressed down look
-Skinny Jeans, as usual (they go with everything what can I say?!)
-Funky Accessories, a great way to add a little more….pizazz.  You can really show off who you are in your accessories so have fun with them!
Rock 'n' Roll

Just a Thought…About Robots

I was watching A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, (which by the way, was much funnier than I had anticipated) when an adorable robot named “Waffle Bot” stole my heart.  It wasn’t just his willingness to dole out hot fresh waffles and syrup at your every whim, (don’t get me wrong that’s freakin’ awesome…) but the fact that he had real human emotion is what gets me all misty eyed.  I would have rather seen all of the people in the movie die a horrible, bloody death than see Waffle Bot in any kind of distress. And that’s when it hit me….I LOVE robots.

Just to be clear, I don’t like real life robots, because they creep me out (have you ever seen that Japanese robot looks like a “man”???!  Eek!). But anytime you add a piece of machinery into the plot with human-like emotions, I’m sold.  Take my childhood favorite for example, Johnny 5 (ALIVE!!!!), all he wanted was input! That’s all he wanted! And people were so mean and they made him so sad.  I cry every time.  All I can gather from that is, people from 80’s movies were a bunch of jerks and nice robots should be coddled and loved.

There are so many examples of lovable robot characters; Wall-E, R2D2, The Iron Giant, that one from that movie with Will Smith that time…the list goes on and on and I eat it up every time – I get emotionally invested like a child and their pet.

I don’t have the answer to why I love robots so much, I just do, and in the end I really don’t care why.  If they ever do create a loving, sweet robot you can keep as a pet, doesn’t creep me out or have secret plans to take over earth and destroy all humans in a murderous rage, sign me up.  For now I’ll just keep loving my cats and watch Batteries Not Included on Netflix.